Think of it like this. Most people get up in the morning, see some folks that they live with and then hop in their cars to go to work. I have to see hundreds of strangers on the street and in the subway before I can even start my work day.

Now, I don’t avoid all personal contact. In fact, I’m quite social when I want to be. I have even selected a few fine outstanding members of the human race to be my called my best friends. They are incredible and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Here’s what I mean though about me being anti-social. If the CVS has a self-checkout line… that’s where I’m headed. If I go out to a bar for happy hour I tend to move to the emptiest corner (unless its late, I’m drunk and I want to dance). Headphones and avoiding eye contact are an essential part of riding the subway. My favorite place to eat in NYC used to be the self-serve BAM Automat on St. Marks.

When I’m feeling social, I go out or go to an event and take in conversations with new people I could potentially not hate. But when I’m not ready for it or when it’s early in the morning and I just have not had my morning snack of caffeine yet… leave me alone.

That’s why I’m particularly thrown off and bitter about this morning’s encounter. It was an interaction I was forced into and was not ready for.

My metrocard expired today. So, as I do once a month, I moseyed on over to the MTA venting machine to pay a significant portion of my hard-earned salary in exchange for a ride to work. (Not somewhere I want to go. I’m not paying for a trip to Miami. It’s something I HAVE TO do to get somewhere I don’t always want to be. ) One machine was not accepting cards (who knows why) and one was not accepting cash (probably because it needed to be emptied). I went to the “credit cards only” machine and attempted to throw my money at the MTA, but they wouldn’t take it. I spent a few minutes trying different cards and different swiping techniques but this “Cards only” machine was now just a massive ugly paperweight.

What to do? Well, I went to the human attendant thinking I would get some help. When I tried to give him my card he said, “We only take cash, kid. — Yah, he made the mistake of calling me “kid.” — I told him the machine wasn’t reading cards and he said, “I guess you’ll have to go to an ATM then huh?” — Yes, Captain Condecendo “HUH”-ed at me. — I asked if he would at least tell someone the machine was broken to which he replied, “Someone will report it.”

I shot my dirtiest Regina George “you’re disgusting” face at him and ended the conversation there. I knew I was not going to be attended to by this douche-faced attendant. What did I do to deserve rude treatment other than ask for help? Which leads me to my biggest pet peeve in the known universe. Being rude to people when you’re at work.

Believe me, I’ve had my share of shitty retail jobs, and I’ve certainly had bad days where I wanted to rip faces off anyone who came in. BUT, I realized that part of my job (what I was being paid to do) was customer service and being PLEASANT.

Anyway, I took note of his name tag and I’ll be following up with the MTA who will file the complaint in a pile of red tape and do nothing.

YAY NYC!

I knew they were supporters when I was able to interview them at this past summer’s Trevor LIVE event in NYC, but didn’t realize to what degree. I was invited to attend a small acoustic press performance of the band last week and they really blew me away with everything they are doing for LGBTQ Rights. Three straight guys that are not only doing an entire tour to promote equality, but also have now formed their own non-profit, The Ally Coalition,  to be a place where allies can take action. How great is that!? I’ve always said how powerful I think Ally support is to LGBTQ rights, and I think this is a great venue for then to be more involved. Think about what a tremendous support allies are even in personal lives, especially through the coming out process when a young person may not even know a single other LGBTQ person. That support can make all the difference.

What I thought was really powerful about their statements was that they are determined to make their concerts a place where EVERYONE is welcome and should feel like they can be themselves. They want their fans to “get it” and to be the ones who are able to stand up to people who use “gay” as a derogatory term or mistreat someone who is LGBTQ. They want to start a new movement of allies for our generation and the next.

The Campus Consciousness Tour, which is hitting 9 locations, is being sponsored by Ben & Jerry’s started Oct 31 and goes until Nov 18th. I also didn’t know Ben & Jerry’s had such a robust history of supporting LGBTQ people. I knew they were supporters recently, but didn’t know they’ve been providing the same employee rights to gay and lesbian employees for over 20 years! What amazing trailblazers in that sense. Now I know why I like “half baked” so much. Eating for my rights! Thats what I’ll call it.

If you are an ally or have some ally besties that you want to be involved check out their website for The Ally Coalition and sign up!

Much love to the band for doing this.

I was able to work with Marie a few months back, doing some motion graphics work for her B-School online intensive, and I was really excited when I had the opportunity to attend RHHLIVE. The difference between a regular business conference and what I learned from Marie is that I didn’t just learn about the “How” but I spent a lot of time exploring the “Why” too. Sure, the “How” is really important, and I DEFINITELY got a lot of amazing “How” questiones answered because, let’s face it, a business can’t function without knowing “How”. BUT I’m glad that rather than getting caught up in “How? How? How?” I was able to figure out my own “Why” so that I’m not having to backtrack 6 months to a year after I get going.

Why am I doing what I’m doing? Why is this that path that I chose? And most importantly for me right now… Why am I waiting?

The speakers were incredible and even better was that the vibe in the room was  truly UNMATCHABLE.

Picture this:  A few HUNDRED female entrepreneurs from across the globe who are excited, happy, helpful and full of smiles… in the middle of New York City. They laugh, they dance and they are all pleasant to be around. Not only that, but they all eat healthy. I OBVIOUSLY thought that I didn’t fit in, but I was completely wrong. I made so many connections to incredible woman that weekend, I can’t even describe it.

More importantly even than the speakers and the things I learned from them were the other folks there that I was able to connect with at the event. Some will be friends for a long time, some will be a great business resource, and one in particular TOTALLY changed the game for me. Super special shout out to Naomi Peters. (More about how she changed my life to come soon.)

So anyway, my life is going through a change. It’s all good and fantastic and amazing. With those life changes, you’ll notice some changes coming to this blog too. I can’t wait to share all of details with everyone soon!

<3

So what do I own? Certainly not my apartment. Technically not my education yet. I don’t and would never want to own the MTA. But these monthly grand payments feel like they should be at least going towards SOMETHING TANGIBLE!

So this is what I’ve got: Clothes, my iPhone, my MacBook, a bed, some random furniture, books, photos and a lot of useless crap I don’t need. It totally sounds like a #firstworlproblem to ONLY own a laptop and phone, but I feel that at my age, though still relatively young, I expected more out of life. I don’t want to spend a thousand dollars on a bottle of champagne or go extravagant restaurants , and in fact those stuffy fancy restaurants are the last place I want to be, but I’ve never been one to settle for “good enough.” That’s how I feel about my life right now. It’s fine. It’s a part of who I am to always want to fight my way up to something better. What I don’t know is whether or not this trait is a blessing or a curse. Does this mean I’ll NEVER be satisfied? Life would be so much easier to just be fine with how things are, but life isn’t about being easy.

So I’ve come to the realization that I need more money. Lol. It sucks that it always comes down to money isn’t it? I hate even saying that that is how I feel, but it is. Now, how I get that money is still a work in progress. Also, what are the things that I want to own? An apartment isn’t exactly practical right now because I couldn’t afford a cardboard box. But I don’t need to own an apartment. What I really want to do is travel more. I won’t necessarily own anything tangible other than suvineers, but I’ll be able to own that experience and the memories associated with it. Nothing could take that from me… right?

I OWN MY MIND NO MATTER WHAT.

I have some ideas of how to bring home the bacon (Pun intended if you know me), but nothing I can share right at the current moment in time. I guess you’ll have to tune in next time to an all new episode of “Stevie bitches and vents about life.”

If you are judging by sheer aggression then fine. Mitt won. But is that what this debate is about? I’m the loudest so I win, even though my points make no sense and most are blatant lies.

People are saying that Romney was more “presidential” and strong. To me, that depends on your definitions of “presidential” and “strength.”  Would you prefer a president that is extremely aggressive, will talk over anyone and scream his points of view even if they are lies? OR. Would you like a president who keeps his cool, is calm, collected, and strategizes before he makes an attack? I think it takes much more “strength” to not lash out and yell “No no! You’re wrong! I’m right! Believe me! Me! ME! MEEEE!”

I do think that Obama had some major missed opportunities of calling Mittens out on some VERY key and controversial points last night. But Mitt’s whole platform last night was “that’s not true” “that’s not my plan.” I really just wanted Obama to say “THEN WHAT IS YOUR PLAN MOTHERFUCKER?!”

Anyway, the sad truth is that to most of Americans relate being the loudest to being the most powerful. And to most Americans Romney was a winner last night.

Obama is my winner. 

Who is yours?

Whether it’s from exhaustion of running around nonstop, or the starvation tactics you use to look impossibly thin this season, I commend your hard work and I appreciate your struggles as I sit back and eat a cheeseburger.

I could not do what you do, but I know without those struggles I would be wearing my fathers jeans and t-shirts from 3rd grade basketball camp. Oh… that look is in this year? I’ll get right on that.

This will be a living and breathing playlist that I change and add to, so if you have any suggestions leave a comment below!

Enjoy!

I was waiting for my calling. Every spider bite was a chance at super powers.

Now at 25, I only wear capes on Halloween and my relationship with spider bites has changed dramatically.

It’s customary in our culture for this type dog dream to fade over time, but I’m not entirely ready to give up. I don’t expect to teleport or shape-shift these days, but I believe super powers exist in this world. There are definitely super heroes in my life that have taken the place of the ones we see in the comics.

BUT WHAT DO I WANT TO BE SUPER AT?

My career? My friendships? My relationships? Can I be super at all three? Sounds exhausting. Lol.
I could be a superhero designer and have future aspiring designers look up to me.

I could be a superhero speaker and lead discussions to change the world.

I wish I could be like Rogue (maybe one of my favorite super hero characters) and take on whatever power I need at the moment. I guess I would have to work on that whole “no touching” thing though… Sorry. I geeked-out for a minute.

I feel like I’m super at some things in my life… sometimes. When will I feel super?

If you could be super at just one thing what would it be?

Leave a comment below.

I’ve been feeling the tingle in my legs for a little while now but it’s biting down full on now. Trapped is NEVER a good feeling.

Sometimes you need just that little push or judge to set you off in the right direction to your new future.

With the help of some folks on Twitter and Facebook, I put together this “Peace The Fuck Out” playlist to be the nudge you need. You may notice a large helping of Melanie C present in this playlist, because she and her music have always been the ones there for me when I’m feeling like this in the past. But really… What is a Stevie NYC playlist without some Spice Girls?

This playlist will be a living and breathing thing that I add to as I find more songs, so if you have any suggestions e-mail or tweet them my way.

Play it in your bedroom when you’re alone. Listen to the lyrics like they are your own words. You might find the little bit of motivation that you need.

Enjoy!

OH! wait! One last thing. The Moment You Believe, a Melanie C song that is PERFECT and amazing for this playlist, is on her “This Time” album which is not on spotify, so here is a link to the music video. <3  http://youtu.be/519yuRHApfY

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.?” – William Shakespeare.

A lot of discussion and thought have been coming up in my life lately around names.

One friend just got married and took her spouse’s last name. Another person I know recently came out as transgender and was able to choose their own new name. And then one of my extremely talented nightlife gender bending half drag queens uses the same name on and off the stage.

So I think to myself. What is in a name?

Let’s start with the married friend. She has chosen (as tradition dictates) to take her spouse’s name. You all know I’m not really one for traditions, but in this case I understand the symbolism behind bonding your family names. (Personally I’d hyphenate or create a totally new last name for both of us, but that’s a whole other Oprah.) I’ve come to realize now over the last few days since her Facebook has changed names I feel like I almost don’t know her. Who is this person writing on my wall with a new name? I know who she was, I’ve known her by that other name for seven years of friendship, but who is she now? This is a stranger to me. Do I have to start fresh? Rebuild our relationship? Obviously she is the same person she’s always been, but it is going to take some time to readjust. There is no equity or trust in this new name yet.

Now, it’s almost the whole other side of the argument for the trans friend I have. They are choosing a name in order to start fresh. To be themselves. To finally have a name that reflects the person they’ve always been inside. It’s a positive thing and a life changing experience for them to choose their name. The reason they’ve decided to change their name though is not necessarily because they hate their given name, but because people associate most names with a gender. It starts way before the child is born or has a personality at all. We always hear the questions, “What are you going to name it IF IT’S A BOY?” Personally, I could probably get away with using Stevie on either end of the spectrum, but what if my first name was Anthony (my middle name). If I were trans and started expressing a female gender identity with my clothing, hair, makeup, etc. but kept my name as Anthony I’m sure some eyebrows would be raised.

I wish everyone in the world chose their own name one they’ve reached adulthood. Formed their own identity with a name that they feel fits them best. I bet we would have a lot more creative names out there. I’ve sort of developed my identity in adulthood as “Stevie” out of my given name. (I did it backwards from most folks. I was strictly “Steven” until about 12. Then I went by “Steve” until about 19-20 and now most folks have adopted me as “Stevie.”) But growing up I ALWAYS wanted the name Kevin. It just resonated with me. If it were tradition or acceptable at the time I would have changed my name in a heartbeat.

What about Marti? My friend Marti Gould Cummings is known by the same name by the government, his friends, family, and even the fans of his gender-bending drag shows. To him, it is nothing more than a name and he told me once “If I was going to be well known for drag I didn’t want to be known by any other name than my own.” (RuPaul had this theory too) Why would he build his empire and build equity behind a stage name when you have a birth name like Marti Gould Cummings… I mean. Take out that first “U” and… I mean… It was just a name MADE for a drag queen.

What is interesting about the day and age that we live in is that many of folks from my generation are used to changing our names on the regular. The generation that grew up when AOL and Instant Messaging and screen names began is quite familiar with having a new name to go by every so often online. (I’ve been: TazBoy34, EmmasSpiceBoy, SpiceBoy3434, LilSuperSteve, TheShenanigans, and finally became StevieNYC, just to name a few.) I’m pretty stuck with StevieNYC now, and like my birth name I’ve built some equity, worth, and trust associated with the name.

So, I guess the only thing behind your name (aside from sometimes being associated with a gender) is really just the feeling that you give to it. It’s your own personal brand. A brand you could have been building since birth, one that you are just starting to use with your new life, or maybe a screen/stage name that displays only a part of the “whole you.” What others feel when they hear your name you can’t exactly control, but hopefully it goes in tandem with how you feel about yourself.

THAT is what’s in a name.

First of all, if you don’t already own Marina’s new album “Electra Heart” you are a fool. Second, hearing her live was OUT OF CONTROL. She was so cute, fun and incredibly talented. Her vocals were completely on point all night and I can’t say that was surprised. Girl is consistent! Her acoustic version of “Teen Idol” brought me TO MY KNEES and “Lies” quite possibly changed my life. (Those weren’t initially even my favorites from the album, but I’m listening to them with a whole new respect now.)

Her persona is such a fun juxtaposition of bad ass that doesn’t care about you and Barbie doll princess. It just worked. Her costume changes were cute and fun. They (and her handfuls of glitter) totally played up to her very gay audience. Seriously, more than half of the place was just gay boys strutting.

Such a fun concert to go to. Everyone was just enjoying good music and having a good time. Just the way it should be.